Gifts for Writers Part II

Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Holiday, Humor, On Writing, Poetry, Satire | Comments Off on Gifts for Writers Part II

The Twelve Days of  the Season

by Tam Albright

 

Of all the many gifts you could give the writer in your life this holiday, there is really only one thing that writers want.

 

On the first day of the season,

Oh yeah. You are SO going into my novel for this.

my loved ones asked of me:

“Are there enough ideas for your WIP?”

 

So, on the second day of the season,

my loved ones gifted me, with

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the third day of the season,

my loved ones helped some more, with

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the fourth day of the season,

the blinking cursor mocked:

(Many four-letter swear words,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

But mom, it was all my work from NaNoWriMo this year!

On the fifth day of the season,

my loved ones distracted me:

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(More four-letter swear words,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the sixth day of the season,

I wrote my loved ones in:

Six doomed characters,

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(F-dash-dash-dash word,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the seventh day of the season,

I vented to the Net:

Seven writing #hash-tags,

Six doomed characters,

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(Still swearing swear words,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the eighth day of the season,

We'll see who needs to keep their day job, Aunt Melba.

my loved ones gave me advice:

Eight clichéd phrases,

Seven writing #hash-tags,

Six doomed characters,

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(*eye-roll* Four-letter swear words,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the ninth day of the season,

my “hobby” was discussed:

Yeah, nine old trunked novels,

Eight clichéd phrases,

Seven writing #hash-tags,

Six doomed characters,

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(“I’m a sailor” swear words,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

Then they'll quest for the seven magical keys of Ventoozler. Hey, I can make it a series!

On the tenth day of the season,

I became quite desperate:

Ten magical McGuffins,

Nine old trunked novels,

Eight clichéd phrases,

Seven writing #hash-tags,

Six doomed characters,

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(Swear words just to say them,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the eleventh day of the season,

with my loved ones fast asleep, I had

Eleven cups a-coffee,

Ten magical McGuffins,

Nine old trunked novels,

Eight clichéd phrases,

Seven writing #hash-tags,

Six doomed characters,

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(Four-letter swear words,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP.

 

On the twelfth day of the season,

Finally, peace and quiet. Now for my next dilemma--WIP or Facebook?

my loved ones got the drift:

Twelve uninterrupted hours,

Eleven cups a-coffee,

Ten magical McGuffins,

Nine old trunked novels,

Eight clichéd phrases,

Seven writing #hash-tags,

Six doomed characters,

Five times I forgot to hit “SAVE!”

(I still can’t believe I did that,)

Three unrelated plot bunnies,

Two back up hard drives,

And enough ideas for my WIP!

 

Happy Holidays, Everyone!

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